Forgiveness is a hard concept for some of us to comprehend. We have people who have done us wrong, our loved ones or others around us and our nature is to hate them, be mad at them and wish them the worst life has to offer.
Forgiveness is free but trust is earned. When you forgive someone it is not a free pass for them to think that life is all back to normal now. They too need to work at rebuilding the relationship if that is what they want or if you allow the relationship to begin again and if not then your forgiveness will allow you to move on with a clear conscience and live a full and happy life.
Jesus tells us that in Romans 12:19-21 "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
This is an idea that can be foreign to us when we are wronged by someone we trust. Also, giving the person who has caused us pain food, drink, and love can be a hard pill to swallow. This idea follows the old adage "kill them with kindness". It is not our place to be judge, jury and executioner against someone who has done us wrong.
I struggle with forgiveness on a daily basis when it comes to my ex husband. Resentment, dislike, jealousy, & sadness over take my daily life on many occasions. I resent what happened in our failed marriage, I dislike him for the manipulation he used against me and my family, jealous that he is able to move on, start a new relationship and will be getting married again soon, and sadness for my son that he does not have two loving parents who are together. I struggle with these issues every day. At times it makes me depressed, sad, lonely, fearful and at times that I am useless.
Another Bible verse that really speaks to me is Matthew 18:21-22 "Peter came to
Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or
sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.
Forgiveness will not come easy, it will not be quick or happen over night. You have to work at it every day if you truly want to have forgiveness.
Bob, my Pastor, put forgiveness in a new light for me and it has helped me considerably but I know that I am a work in progress and if I am to move on, be happy, love again and be there as a whole person for my son I need to successfully forgive and not regret it one bit.
- Forgiveness isn't about setting the other person free, it is about setting YOU free.
- Forgiveness is a PROCESS
- Forgiveness is a CHOICE
- You will never FEEL like forgiving someone
Again, as I said forgiveness will not be easy but it is not worth my life, love, or my sons life to hold on to old baggage that is only going to cause me harm in the long run. Harm to my emotional well being, my ability to love again, my physical health, my career goals. It will affect my entire life it I let it.
A wise woman told me today that hate and being able to not forgive is like a weed that grows inside you. It festers, takes root and will grow uncontrollably until it takes over your life and it will sap you of everything you love and care about.
I am a work in progress but I will make a promise to myself to work on this task like I work on other important tasks in my life, with all the faith, trust, love and frustration that comes along with accomplishing any thing huge and life changing!
